Nurit Monacelli was born and raised in New York City where she works as an actor and acting teacher. In fact, she was my teacher and thanks to her I learned how to take better and deeper breaths again which generally is a great tool to have - but especially right now. Nurit studied at Brown University and received her M.F.A in acting from the American Repertory Theater at Harvard University. She comes from a liberal family of refugees and immigrants and is the mother of an eight-year-old daughter who she raises together with her husband in Queens, NY.
Do you think your daughter realized what was going on during the last election?
My daughter definitely experienced the election in 2016. She went and voted with me and was very excited at the possibility of having our first female president.
How do you remember the election period of 2016?
We watched the results at a friend's house. We left early, as things were looking really bad. As we were walking home, nobody could really speak, we were so upset. I was horrified before the election. Just the fact that Trump was running and seen as a viable candidate was a scary reflection of what was happening in our country. The next morning, when it became more official, my daughter was very upset. When she took the bus to school, she found out that one of her friend's fathers had voted for Trump so we had a conversation about that at the time.
(Her daughter Aila briefly walks into the conversation)
Aila, do you still remember election night, how old were you?
I was four. I remember we were all watching together and then I remember crying about Trump. And I was annoyed that I was woken up early for school the next day.
Have the last four years made you worry for your daughter?
I think my biggest concern right now is that this generation is growing up with so much to fear. The world I grew up in was not perfect, but I did not worry about things like school shootings, 9/11, or children being taken from their parents at the border. Our culture is incredibly divided, and invites fear right now which is stoked by the current administration. And then, on top of all this, we have the disaster of this pandemic, which the government has cruelly mishandled. In fact, my daughter just lost her grandmother due to complications related to COVID-19. I don't want our children to grow up in a world of grief.
Do you watch the president’s actions and footage of him? Do you share it with her, or does she have access to it?
We don't have a TV in our apartment so it’s not like the TV is running endlessly, but we do stream things. I can’t really watch footage or look at the images of him. I don't even like to say his name, quite frankly. I share parodies of him with Aila - SNL and Randy Rainbow, which she enjoys. I think humor can be a good way to voice some things and an outlet/opportunity to talk about our current situation. Sometimes, I don’t even know how equipped I am to talk to her. I do know that I want her to have a sense of what’s happening and continue to develop her own understanding about these things that are happening in the world.
Does your family have conversations at home regarding politics and if so, will you have these in front of or with her?
Kids pick up on everything. We live in a small apartment in the city and I grew up in a very liberal New York family. She’s definitely heard me and my mother talk about politics and current affairs all the time. We are with my father at the moment. We sit at the table for dinner, which means she's definitely hearing adults talk about current events. She's taking things in there as well while watching adults try and navigate, or even simply comprehend, this.
Have you stepped into concrete action as a family or parent?
I became more active following the election in 2016. I have been going to marches and bringing her, even when she was younger. I don't know how much she really understood back then, but it was important for me to take a clear stand and I wanted her to get the chance to see that. Yes, many people are legitimately really scared, angry, upset, sad and overwhelmed - but many haven’t thrown up their hands. I wanted her to get the chance to see people fighting for justice and change and cultivate a sense of hope that change is possible. My daughter also recently became a Girl Scout. Her leader is educating them on politics and how to vote, how to help others register to vote, why it is important to vote and how your vote affects other people. It turned out to be this great thing for her. Finding community in these places where you feel cared for. I think it's important for both adults and children. Right now, my daughter is writing a limerick about the environment and talking about race. And I’m also trying to be more educated. I’m trying to figure out what can I do better. How can I empower myself to make this world better?
How are you preparing for this election and a possible negative outcome?
We have to get this administration out now. There is no other option. It’s pretty unequivocal. We need to get people in office who, at the very least, can speak to the country with a sense of empathy and the most basic regard for some kind of truth. Someone we can show to our children on a screen and not feel shame or disgust about. Even though I come from a very liberal environment I can still understand if somebody was a Republican back then. I may not have liked the other person who was running but understood that they at least followed a few basic principles. I will never understand how someone could support this administration. Too many lines have been crossed morally, too many lies have been told, and, unfortunately, lives have been lost. It’s scary - there is so much at stake right now and I think that this next election could make or break us. We need to know and ensure that our democracy is intact and I'm very worried about that. When I think back to 2016, especially of women at the time, for example, the female teachers at the school where I teach, we had a physical, visceral response to the election. What was the election reflecting about our country? I feel like the Democratic Party is now understanding that we as Democrats have to unify. Yes, this is politics and part of the game is sometimes to reduce things and to just band together. I do feel we will all breathe easier and I mean that in all senses of the word really seriously. On every possible level.
How are you witnessing other parents deal with everything that has happened?
I live in Queens and it’s really a true neighborhood in a way that other parts of the city no longer are. I think Queens is the most diverse place possibly on the planet, with people from all over the place who come to New York. I love that about the neighborhood, and I love that I've met people just because I have a daughter—people I might not otherwise come into contact with, which has been great. There are some activist groups fueled by parents in my neighborhood. There is a mom who has been delivering Get out the Vote postcards for people to mail. There are groups of parents who gather to go into the City together for marches. We have had marches here in the neighborhood in support of immigrants and the Black Lives Matter movement. The St Pat's for All parade takes place in my neighborhood. My neighbor and friend also started a group for children who are political activists. So yes, there really is a nice community and activism on that front.
How have things changed for you since the election?
There have been so many changes in the last four years. Cultivating hope has become more of a challenge and intentional practice because we’re currently living in a culture that is charged with fear. I don’t want to be cynical. I don't want to give up. Reaffirming that has become more important. I feel like I'm grieving for so much right now, and it's not just the loss of my own mother, I think of a lot of people who would possibly still be alive today with a different administration. I am grieving for what our country is going through, but all of this is also mixed with hope. When you begin to shine a light on things that are not good, you come out of your own bubble and become that much more galvanized to turn things around for real. And that breeds hope. And there have been things that have changed for the better since 2016. Good things! I feel like there have been many more conversations about things like gender and sexual identity. That's a conversation that I feel has really opened up in a positive way specifically in the last few years. I am also hopeful in terms of the Black Lives Matter Movement. The country is reaching a necessary reckoning with regards to race, which is long overdue and has to happen for us to really move forward together.
What are your hopes and dreams for the future?
My grandparents were Jewish refugees. My dad is an immigrant. They all came to this country for its sense of possibility and were lucky enough to find it here. I want to believe, I want everyone to be able to believe, that those possibilities exist and will continue to exist for future generations. To make that happen, we need to start with easy access to voting. I am hopeful, especially when I see young people like you. I think there are young people out there who are not only hungry for meaningful change, but also savvy enough to cut through all the noise. I want my daughter to learn how to question her sources and hope she will be able to find the truth about what is going on in the world. Because there is misinformation and distortion everywhere. I want her to connect and feel connected in a culture that values our diversity and humanity. I want her to question things and embrace the nuances of being a citizen of the world.
